Pride goeth before the Fall (or How I learned to ask for help up after I had fallen down)

Growing up, I always had the sense that self-reliance and strength of will were supposed to carry you through. One powered through ones problems without involving others (with exceptions made for parents), but as my step-mother said to me the other day, this is an antiquated notion from generations ago, and I discovered for myself that it’s a pride thing. Not the good pride of feeling accomplished or the sense of satisfaction you get from helping someone else (ironically), but the pride that trips you up and stops you from asking for help, because it won’t let the words out of your mouth. It traps those needs in your brain. It makes you feel weak and insecure, it tells you you’re not good enough, if you need help.

With this I add the weight of Depression, this brings the added elements of self-doubt and worthiness to the experience, because your brain starts asking are you worthy of the help you are seeking, do you deserve it and of course with depression the answer is always no. It always spins everything to the negative, that’s what depression does, that’s how it works, it seeks to sink you into despair and isolate you within the darkness of your mind and whispers to you that there is no way out, that no one can help you, that no one wants to help you. Depression lies to you, all the time, it never stops lying to you. That is what it does.

These two things combined, will often strangle the words in your throat as you try to ask for help.

How do I fight this? How do I stop the voice in my mind? Sometimes I don’t, but I’ve learned that asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength, because it means you realize your limitations and that you have faith in those friends you surround yourself with. (This also means you trust your own judgement, because you chose those you surround yourself with, go you.) So, I will ask for that help, when it is needed.

So, this I say to you, when you feel you can’t get up (metaphorically speaking, of course, people will tend to offer to help you when you actually, physically, fall down), do not be afraid to ask for help, you have friends around you who will gladly lend you the strength to carry on.

And always remember this, my friend, I will gladly offer what little strength I have to give if you need it. I will be there to help you up, all you have to do is ask.

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