Slowly Sauntering Downwards

or The Monumentally Slow and Hellish Descent into Apathy
that comes from the Creative Blackhole that is Depression

            As can be seen with the subtitle of this blog, it is with a painful (but hopefully, not Sisyphean) effort, that I write this. The first thing I want to say is…


Fuck Depression!!!


Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get on with it. So, for the past few months, I’ve been feeling blasé and unmotivated and it’s impacted upon my creative output, the last poem I wrote was in July, that’s not a good sign. I’ve had flashes of inspiration, but the insidiousness of depression is that it saps you of the will to follow through. So I write this to exercise the demon apathy that has grasped my soul. Here’s hoping this will break on through to the other side.

So, the positive is the three ideas that are floating around in my head, two are game design ideas (both old ones that have resurfaced.) The other is my poetry book.

First, let’s talk about the game ideas.

I           As Above, So Below: A Game of Angels
(Possibly being renamed With One Wing Dipped in Blood)
which I’ve been working on for years. I’ve found new inspiration in John Harper’s Blades in the Dark game. This has caused me to revamp my ideas. I will be using his game engine, heavily modified and refitted, to create my game. It seems to fit the style of play I’m going for. Right now it’s a loose collection of ideas and I’m also looking at what I’ve written before, and seeing what I can salvage from that iteration of the game.


II          West World (definitely being renamed),
a western Apocalypse World hack; I’ve already got a loose idea for the Gun-fighting Mechanic and how it’ll work. So, that’s sitting in my brain, ruminating and percolating.

Now the Poetry book,

III        Like Butterflies to Burning Flames (A possible name for the book)
This is a complex thing, for it requires research and figuring out how to go about doing it.It’s my most ambitious idea. I want to choose a selection of my poetry, talk to my artist friends and see if they’d be interested in drawing (or painting, etc.) something inspired by their choice of poem, and for each poem (or selection of poems) write a piece on what inspired them, or what was going on in my life at the time.

And those are the ideas that are currently bouncing around in my head; hopefully, this piece will help loosen the apathetic shackles of depression from my creativity.

Anyone who wants to bandy ideas with me for any of the three items above, please do. You’ll be helping me out. (Especially the poetry book, if you’re an artist who’d like to be involved, or someone with an idea of how to go about getting it going, please share. I also need an idea of how to go about funding the endeavour.)

Should I set up a Patreon to help me continue with my Poetry?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s